The Submissive Feminist

This is such a touchy subject, especially with all the feminist women out there who want to “take charge” or feel like they deserve to be the same as a man. Here’s the thing, we are all created equal in value… but wake up… we are not the same! For one, our anatomy is different. Our hormones are different, our strength, voices, brains and looks are different. And let’s praise God for that! I don’t want testosterone that makes me all bulky and muscley or an Adam’s apple, or a penis for that matter! I’m glad we’re different. I like being feminine, more emotional, daintier, softer, and sweeter. But I appreciate and love my husbands firmness, strength, heart to provide, his logical thinking brain, and of course, the penis isn’t bad either (I had to throw that in there, sorry!)

In every relationship there is a masculine and a feminine energy, and what happens when a woman takes on the masculine energy? She forces the man to take the feminine energy. At first, this seems great, “he’ll do anything I tell him to,” “he does whatever I say” “I’m in charge, he just goes along with me.” These are common things a woman of masculine energy says, and she says it with pride. Until she realizes she cut off the best part of him- his balls. Soon she won’t respect him, she’ll walk all over him and she’ll be annoyed that he’s such a wimp, forgetting that SHE DID THIS TO HIM! There’s nothing sexy about a girly guy!
I’ll never forget, when we were first married, Sean and I had a disagreement and I raised my voice and said, “you’re being an a$$.” He looked back at me with a look in his eyes I haven’t seen since and said, “do not cuss at me.” He wasn’t mad, he wasn’t hurt…he was demanding respect. And I’m not gonna lie, it was kind of sexy. I liked that he didn’t just take my crap and that he had a higher standard for our relationship. After all, I wouldn’t want him calling me names either. If I wasn’t mad about whatever I was mad about, I probably would have jumped on him and started making out with him right there. That moment made me realize, I like this masculine thing!

We all want the super hero, strong protector, provider, someone we feel safe with, who will fight the burglar in the middle of the night and protect his family! Our female hearts crave protection and love and safety. And luckily a manly heart is wired to want to be all of that for us.

At the end of the day, women need men to take charge, to stand up and be a man, not to be a wimpy little puppy that follows us around.
By submitting to your husband and encouraging him to be the head of the household, the leader, and standing behind him letting him know you trust him to take the lead-he will in turn do anything for you. You can still say “my husband will do anything for me” only instead of it being because you insisted he does it, it’s because he actually loves you so much that he wants to meet your needs. If you ask me, I’d much rather have that be his motivation. Women want love and men want respect. When you respect him, he loves you deeper than you’ll ever imagine.

The word submit often strikes a chord with women because it makes you feel like a slave, but that is not the submission I’m talking about. I’m talking biblical submission. The way we submit to the Lord is the same manner in which we submit to our husband. We still have a choice, we still have a voice, but we allow God to take the lead. God wants to hear from us, he wants us to express our thoughts and feelings, but he wants us to trust him too. Same for our husband. Sean and I call it 51/49, he has 51% and I have 49%. We discuss and talk about everything and 99% of the time we actually come to an agreement together. But if we can’t, he gets the final say. Some people think this is so horrible and I’ll tell you why it’s not. You see, I married the right man, a Godly man who prays. If I know God is leading his decision, I don’t have to stress about what he ends up choosing. Sean thinks of the kids and I before himself, he would die 10x over before letting us get hurt so I genuinely trust his decisions. Plus, when a hard decision has to be made and I don’t know the answer, I say, “your 51! Pray about it!” Not really, I pray too but I can rest knowing he gets to make those tough decisions and not me!
I can honestly say that throughout our entire marriage I have been submissive and Sean has been the leader. I give him respect, I empower him as a man instead of beat him down, and I support his choices even when I don’t agree. And he has made some I didn’t agree with by the way, and you know what? I didn’t argue or nag him about it. Later I saw how God was actually working in him through those choices and he learned lessons he needed to learn. Who am I to stand in the way of that?! Sean has never once walked all over me, ordered me around or made me feel anything but equal. He actually asks for my opinion since I’m not trying to shove it down his throat.

I think the whole feminist movement should have been called the masculine movement! It has been the breakdown of families. There’s more divorce, more broken families and more struggle. We need to take back our womanhood and be true feminists-meaning embrace our femininity! And celebrate our mans masculinity!

Be a true feminist and be the female God wired us to be. Life works better when we follow Gods design. If you don’t believe me, think of the most masculine girl you know-is she married? Let me rephrase that, is she happily married? Is she divorced? Is she looking for a man and can’t find one? If she is married I’d be willing to bet her husband is so feminine she doesn’t respect him and you probably don’t either!

By |2017-01-12T14:52:51+00:00January 12th, 2017|Wifey|6 Comments

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  1. Anonymous January 12, 2017 at 4:26 pm - Reply


  2. Brandi McCarthy January 22, 2017 at 8:26 pm - Reply

    LOVE!!!! So well said sweet friend!

  3. Jessica March 29, 2017 at 3:03 am - Reply

    I couldn’t agree more!

  4. D.S. Barrett-Berg July 20, 2018 at 11:25 pm - Reply

    I respectfully disagree.
    I hope you don’t damage, discourage, or subconsciously undermine your daughters’ goals, or educational & professional aspirations by teaching them that drivel about submissiveness.

    One or both of your daughters may want to become an astronaut or a physicist or an oncologist.

    In my generation, women didn’t have the option to fulfill their potential because male and female “roles” reserved the most prestigious, influential and highest paying ones for males and relegated females to jobs that are valued less and paid accordingly. It took the efforts, hard work, and sacrifice of several generations of feminists to break through occupational gender barriers and parity in pay.

    It’s hurtful when a younger woman who chooses to be a housewife (which is fine, if that’s what she wants) speaks derisively of feminists; the women before her who worked tirelessly to pass legislation and enact laws that now ensure that her young daughters and other girls & young women in this country have the right & the option to choose and pursue their chosen lifestyle and/ or career based on their interests, educational/professional accomplishments, intellectual abilities and passion.

    • seanwigand October 20, 2018 at 8:11 pm - Reply

      I agree with what you said, and although I am a stay at home mom, I also have a college degree and many dreams and work opportunities of my own. This article is not meant to offend or say women shouldn’t work hard for their goals and dreams! This article is addressing the “feminist mentality” that has infiltrated our culture where women are stomping on their husbands instead of respecting them (respect should go both ways). Or single women are saying, “I don’t need a man.” There is a man-hating attitude that many women have. This is basically saying we are built different and we should embrace that and while we don’t “need” a man…we can still love them. I could go on and on but I will leave it at that. I agree with all you said though and I am thankful that we are moving toward equal opportunities! Thank you for reading..

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